This first Episode on our series on Kindness highlights the importance of vulnerability in relationships, emphasizing the power of kind words and genuine communication in battling anxiety. The speakers share personal experiences and insights on expressing vulnerability, particularly for men, and stress the need for honest and kind communication. They discuss resolving conflicts through kindness and obedience, prioritizing communication even in disagreements. The conversation explores the impact of intentional acts of kindness on mental well-being and relationships, aligning actions with God's word. Overall, the speakers emphasize the significance of extending kindness to others as a remedy for anxiety and selfishness.
Listen on these platforms
[00:00:09.96] - Mitchell Buchannan
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Sermon podcast from the church community for God. My name is Mitchell Buchanan, and we're generally joined by bible extraordinary Greg Garner. He is on the mission field serving in Morristown, which is excellent.
[00:00:27.42] - Derek Bargatze
Saw pictures today is awesome. The work they're doing.
[00:00:29.85] - Mitchell Buchannan
Nice.
[00:00:30.28] - Derek Bargatze
Yeah.
[00:00:30.82] - Mitchell Buchannan
Well, we're gonna do our podcast, and he'll just check our work at the end and see how he'll send us his name. He'll be blistering comments on the YouTube.
[00:00:39.35] - Derek Bargatze
Put him live on the YouTube comments so everyone can see.
[00:00:43.64] - Mitchell Buchannan
But we're joined by a couple people who gave sermons this last month on kindness. So, Derek Bargetzi, to my left, gave a sermon from proverbs, old chat about. And then Grant Daley also had a sermon on kindness. So, again, these podcasts are so we can just sit down, hear a little bit more about the background on the sermon, what they were thinking, and just dig more into God's word, because we never want to leave a sermon just from one Sunday. And then it's out of our minds. Like, this is a chance to revisit, to anchor into God's word so it can breathe more life into us. So, without further ado, Derek, if you want to just give, I think, your key verse from your sermon and then some of the main points that, like, really impacted you or you were wanting to kind of express. Everybody.
[00:01:30.95] - Derek Bargatze
Okay? Yeah. My verse was proverbs 12:25. Anxiety weighs down the human heart, but a good word cheers it up. Um, I think it's a good word right there. It really is. I think that, um. I don't know. I love kind of thinking about the simplicity of things and how significant something so simple can be. One of the things that I talked about in my sermon was that I think this verse kind of signifies or shows or is evidence that if anxiety is there around, like, in our community or around in your home or something along those lines, that this verse is almost like a metric for you to go. Are kind things being said here? Like, are the things I'm saying kind to my daughter, to my nine year old son? Is he hearing me say kind things to him and not, like, in genuine, basic kind things? I'm proud of you, son. Like, those kind of things. But, like, step up. Like, I know for us, for my father, I was born in the eighties, so, you know, he was raised, and my dad had a rough upbringing, and he didn't get. He got, like, no positive affirmation from his father. I mean, like, none, just straight up. So I remember. And it's not his fault, but I remember in high school talking to my dad and going, I don't know if I know you. Like, I don't know. Like. Like, I hear these things you do and stuff. I don't know you, and I want to know you. And my father just was like, I don't know what to do. I didn't have a father that did this to me. His father was just. Wasn't there for him. And so then that's what kind of. I was just like, yeah. And you just. It's just true. You don't know what you don't know until you're in that situation. Until I became a father, and then I was like, I understand. Like, I was more patient with my dad.
[00:03:26.65] - Mitchell Buchannan
Yeah.
[00:03:27.25] - Derek Bargatze
Understood what he meant, what he wasn't able to say. And so I think that's what I was thinking about with this verse and those kind of things. Like, how often are there opportunities? That's why I brought up the verse from job. Like, we withhold kindness. Like, we can have so many things I want to say to you, and I either choose not to because I don't want you to be emotional about it, or I don't want to start crying, or I don't want to. The environment in the air, it doesn't. It would feel awkward if I said something kind to you, but I feel it. I know it could happen, but instead I just say, like, yeah, that's, like, all that can come out. But, like, when we do that, what doesn't happen is now I have to. Now, like, if you did this to me, I have to fill in on my own. What I think you would have said. So then if I. If I'm already an insecure person, if I'm already. I already start there. I already start my day. Rob Munoz said he always, you know, like, that quote was like, he always started his day as, like, a star or something like that. Like, he started his day like, he was incredible, and I was like, are you kidding me? I start my day, just, I'll start my day and be like, like, what are you gonna screw up today? like, what did you forget today? What happened? Like, my day. I don't start my day like that. And so, you know, like, you just don't know where people are at. So when it comes to, like, kindness, it's like a command to battle the anxiety that constantly wants to weigh our hearts down. That's constantly battling. And I need grant to say kind things to me, and he needs me to say it to him, and you do, too. And it needs to be honest, it needs to be genuine. And that's why I brought up that visual of learning that I got from hidden potential Adam grant, because I like that it showed that you have to experience discomfort to get to that point, that that's why I loved kindness, because it was something so simplistic but yet so significant. If we really think about it, if we really dive into analyzing how we've, I think, allowed culture to define kindness and not the Bible.
[00:05:50.60] - Mitchell Buchannan
Right.
[00:05:51.16] - Derek Bargatze
And that's what I loved about it. I don't think we really ever truly examined it. So that's why we were saying, like, kindness can look like me correcting you and you rebuking me because you want me to do better, because I need to do better. I need to do better for my wife, I need to do better for my job and my people. I manage. I need to do better than that. And you love me, and you see me making just terrible mistakes, but out of the sake of not being. You don't want to be rude, you want to be kind. You never tell me. You never tell me. I'm off track, I'm off mission, I'm off something. And you can say these things in a kind way. Yeah. You can communicate that and say, like, hey, here's your gifts that you're showing me things that I know that you're doing so well. But here's something that I've noticed, an observation I made that I think we can grow, and you led this and it made me think this. So do you mind if I share that with you? Do you care? There's ways to go about it rather than holding on to it for so long. Me probably knowing I'm not doing a good job in something. And then you wake up like that and been anxiety. I'm just riddled with anxiety.
[00:06:58.60] - Mitchell Buchannan
Yeah.
[00:06:59.25] - Derek Bargatze
And then just thinking, he hates me, you hate me, you don't love me.
[00:07:04.50] - Mitchell Buchannan
You feel like you're pretty consistently like, you battle anxiety
[00:07:08.50] - Derek Bargatze
Have to battle negative mental thoughts often to where it's. It's just like, I don't know what he thinks about me or what genuinely, because I really am. I really want to know, like, what I did with my dad. Like, I need to hear it. I like out of your mouth. I need to hear it.
[00:07:26.24] - Mitchell Buchannan
Yeah.
[00:07:26.75] - Derek Bargatze
And for my wife and I, it's also a point of conflict because she's very introverted. And when she says something, it's, like, so well said. She's so intelligent, and. But she spent some time thinking about it. Yeah. So that just means, though, like, Monday through Friday, I won't hear anything. But come Saturday.
[00:07:48.69] - Mitchell Buchannan
Come Saturday, look like she's thinking. Does it look like she's caring?
[00:07:51.98] - Derek Bargatze
Yeah it looks like she's thinking. Sometimes looks like she's carrying.
[00:07:56.14] - Mitchell Buchannan
So your impressed just by how she's pondering.
[00:07:58.08] - Derek Bargatze
Sometimes.
[00:07:58.79] - Mitchell Buchannan
Okay.
[00:07:59.31] - Derek Bargatze
Sometimes. Sometimes I'm like, what's going on in there, dude? What's going on?
[00:08:07.17] - Mitchell Buchannan
You're talking in the way the verse is set up, because it says, anxiety weighs down the human heart.
[00:08:11.64] - Derek Bargatze
Yeah.
[00:08:12.24] - Mitchell Buchannan
It's like a presumptive, like, hey, it's gonna happen. Like, there's gonna be anxiety. And sure. I was even just thinking if. Because I think really what you explored is vulnerability, where it's like, hey, having even, like, a genuine kind word for you, it's a vulnerable place, I think, even as men.
[00:08:30.25] - Derek Bargatze
Yeah.
[00:08:30.70] - Mitchell Buchannan
Where it's like, I don't want to. It's way easier for me to, you know, talk about an SNL sketch or, like, I think you should leave or like something, I think is f unny.
[00:08:38.96] - Derek Bargatze
Yeah, right.
[00:08:39.67] - Mitchell Buchannan
But to have, like, a truly vulnerable moment either in a way that you are providing kindness through correction or, like, a hard. Or even just a genuine, like, hey, like, you know I love you. You know, you're a great person. Like, a way that you can appreciate someone. Is that a struggle unique for men, men our age, just in general, to like that, I feel like it's easier, which you brought up, even a conflict you had, where it's like, hey, it's easier to come to a place where it's like, hey, we're at a disagreement. I don't really know how to push forward because our minds never naturally go to, hey, I want to push through to that uncomfortable, vulnerable place where I'm going to say why I'm insecure or why I don't appreciate what you're doing to me. Like, it's kind of a threshold. I'm wondering, is that a place that's harder for us as men to get to, or is that just our culture in general?
[00:09:33.17] - Derek Bargatze
I don't know. I don't think it's necessarily particular to men or women in general. I think that it's a choice and a decision that we have to make to say, I could be vulnerable here in time about an argument my wife and I had. But, you know, it's like. I don't know. I don't know, honey.
[00:09:52.51] - Mitchell Buchannan
But, like, can we go to a break?
[00:09:58.27] - Derek Bargatze
Can I step out and make a phone call real fast? No. I would never speak poorly. My wife, she's genuinely the best person in my life. But I think that one of the things that I kind of get an example, I guess. But I. One of the things that I think is helpful when my wife has had a difficult career, and this is something I wanted to do in my sermon, but I didn't, and I should have, because I ended it earlier, and I wanted to give, like, examples of, like, what we can say to be kind, because I do think it's more than being vulnerable, though. It. I think that we may feel vulnerable as a result of being kind, because I think for it to be something that actually is a good word that cheers it up. That's. You know, the other proverbs say that we're supposed to say things that are, like, sweet as honeycomb. Like, it's supposed to taste good. It's supposed to be healing to our bones. Like, it's supposed to have a physical effect on us to where what I can say to him, he could be feeling sick, and then the words I say to him could lift that up to where he no longer feels sick, because it could just be straight up anxiety that's weighing him down. And so I can communicate in a way that is more than just like, hey, man, I love you, dude. Though that's sometimes all we need to say, given the situation. But the situation. My wife, she's worked so hard to become a midwife and has had so many difficult trials and situations that have come up during that time. And. But sometimes, because of those difficult times, sometimes she questions her ability to be a good midwife. And so I know that about her. I know her. I know that she can get that in her head. So, for me, when I can see that anxiety weighing her down, I think an example of a good, kind word is for me to see that in her, that this is more than a vulnerable act. Kindness is a very unselfish act, because I'm not thinking about myself. I'm thinking about what I know. I can see the spiral she's about to go down, and I want to stop her from doing that. So I'm going to tell her, you have worked your butt off to get here, and God has guided you since the beginning. Like, God brought you there. You got, like, one of the best people to train you to be a midwife, and you were the only one that wasn't a nurse, that wasn't a registered nurse, but she selected you because she saw a gift and a talent in you, and you've shown that and the countless people that do that and speaking specifically to that insecurity to get it out of there and that kind of thing to cheer that up. I think that's what we're talking about more than just like a babe. You can do it. Like, I know you can do it. Like, you're a good midwife. You're a good midwife. Like, come on, let's go now. Let's go watch. Let's go watch a tv show. What are you.
[00:12:42.17] - Mitchell Buchannan
What are you at, dummy.
[00:12:43.72] - Derek Bargatze
Right? And I think that one of the things that we're talking about was the other side of it was. It's kind of weird sometimes, our arguments, but I was having an insecure time, and celestial was listening, but she's not quick to speak where I am. Very quick to speak. So this is unfair to her. But I was like. I was like, I needed you. When I was really being really insecure with myself, I needed her to speak to that insecurity. Like, anxiety was weighing me down. And more than just like, you can do it, buddy. You got this? Instead of that, I needed you to speak to it in the way that I was speaking to hers. And so that's when I. But that's why I was, like, getting too complicated with her. And it's like, there's no way she can know. That's exactly that. I was spiraling in a moment of insecurity that she needed to do. So that was unfair me, but I think it was on those lines. That's what I really wish I would have hit more on my sermon in. That is to speak to those specific things that I want to know. If I talk about grant for more than ten minutes, genuinely, in my heart, I'm going to cry, because I love him so much.
[00:13:43.25] - Mitchell Buchannan
Well, we're only.
[00:13:48.71] - Derek Bargatze
Specific things I want to say about him. And, like, I want. I think that's the kind of good word that we're talking about, though, you know? Not like a, I love you, man. I'm here for you, bro. Like, we're bad at that. I think we should get better at it.
[00:14:02.00] - Mitchell Buchannan
You both brought up in your sermons kindness can feel. It's all, like, a really pithy, like, very easy thing to give. Like, right. Graham was like, hold the door or, like, say thank you. And it's like, even what you're saying, that if. If we understand, anxiety is, you know, anxiety is something that we all battle with, you know, and it's like that, you know, in that way, sin is crouching at the door for all of us. Like, there's something right on the other side. I think of all of our psyche, of all of our experience that's awaiting, that could consume us, right, whatever that may be. And it's like, I think to spend time in prayer and even just, like, quieting ourselves and meditating, it's like, there's probably a good word that we should be able to give it all, like, every day to somebody.
[00:14:45.30] - Derek Bargatze
And when I was having that, you brought the conflict out with that person I work with. And when we were sitting in sight, because we were sitting like this and we're sitting in silence for a little bit, you know, that's.
[00:14:55.88] - Mitchell Buchannan
Did you all, did you all like me to like, hey, we need to work through this conflict, and y'all sat down? Or was it just conversation?
[00:15:00.67] - Derek Bargatze
That's what it was. Yeah, because it was there and we just. You could tell. You could tell. I know the Bible says, don't let the sun go down your anger, and I don't know, I think we all disobey that, but, like. But it's win.
[00:15:14.12] - Mitchell Buchannan
It's winter. God, it was too quick.
[00:15:15.69] - Derek Bargatze
Some days have happened, but I. I was adamant to make sure there was some kind of communication to say, hey, we need to sit and make sure we're good, because this is important and she's important to me. And so I was like, and so when we did that, we settled that. But when it was really quiet, that's when it was there, you know, to where it was like, I didn't know what to do. But when I didn't know what to do and I remembered and I was thinking, I was like, I know this has to end in forgiveness and us forgiving each other, it was a kind word that pushed that forward. So even though she was quite mad at me and I was quite frustrated with her, it was the pursuit of me going, like, I'm going to say things now that are true, though, like, that are still true no matter how I feel about how frustrated I am. Because when we're frustrated, we want to say all the things that are going to make that person worse feel worse so that it validates how I feel. But instead, I was like, no, I'm going to be. I'm going to speak and say it's true. You're good. These are the things I think you're good at. These are things talented at. And I want you to know that I know this. As we're arguing and as we're having a conflict, I want you to know that I think these things about you, that these are kind things. And then that helped us get to that place to where we both could, like, kind of put our arms down, like, literally, like, our weapons, you know, that we kind of carry to where it was like, I'm gonna fight you, you fight me. Kind of like, put them down. And she said kind things back to me, and then we. We worked. We were able to work that out. Right. It was. It was like, because things were quite heated, and it was that kind of stuff. It was obedience. You know what I mean? It wasn't like me. It wasn't me waiting on me to feel that way. It was me going, I'm just going to obey. Right? And God met us, and I think sometimes we allow we. That's why I was saying it's an unselfish act to go like, all right, I'm not going to push my own agenda. I have an issue with this person, but I am going to find kind things because I know they're there. Right? Who. What an ego. I would have to think that I am. I am, you know, he was never sinned. Throw the first stone. You know, that kind of thing. It's like, yeah, I would be. I'm the guy. I would be there. I would have to drop my stone, and so would you. So every dagger person would be. But when we have an argument, it is like that. You almost forget. You're like, I'm the most righteous person that's ever lived on this planet. So everything I'm saying right now has to be 100% true.
[00:17:35.51] - Mitchell Buchannan
Yeah.
[00:17:35.95] - Derek Bargatze
Kindness brings you back down, I think, to recognize the truth.
[00:17:39.94] - Mitchell Buchannan
Right?
[00:17:40.32] - Derek Bargatze
Truth. This person still has something there. Yeah. Because we're in covenant with each other, maybe that's important to say.
[00:17:48.02] - Mitchell Buchannan
That's, like, a really cool thing to just emphasizing the truth and, like, having a true word for someone and, like, you know, we're all believers. We want to be kind like, I don't think anyone coming to church is, like, you know, filled with anger towards other people, you know, but it's like those things that we get caught up in and just with anxiety, it's like those internal. If it remains an internal monologue, you start either believing things that aren't true or you're in a different, you know, a different reality where it's, like, even what you're saying of, like, I don't know if he really likes me or, like, appreciates me or, like, did he, you know, am I his friend? And it's like you get in a place that isn't true, but until you have that moment where someone takes a risk or enters into what's uncomfortable or just even, like, you know, a genuine. I'm going to speak truth no matter what.
[00:18:39.56] - Derek Bargatze
Right.
[00:18:40.09] - Mitchell Buchannan
Which it is profound. And it seems that way. It's like, it's a. This is the proverb. So it just seems, like, so simplistic. Just, like, read it and move on. It's like, yeah, hey, have a good word. Like, it, you know, calms anxiety. Like, it tears down anxiety and lifts you up.
[00:18:54.01] - Derek Bargatze
And it's like, it's more than that. And I think that it's one, like, I don't know. I was reading a book called quiet. It's about the power of introverts.
[00:19:04.89] - Mitchell Buchannan
Were you watching the quiet place? Or was it a book called quiet?
[00:19:07.21] - Derek Bargatze
It's a book called quiet.
[00:19:08.32] - Mitchell Buchannan
What if we just converted every movie you're watching? It's like, it was a book. It was called.
[00:19:11.81] - Derek Bargatze
I just changed it.
[00:19:13.38] - Mitchell Buchannan
Deceased hard. It was like, a very interesting.
[00:19:19.83] - Derek Bargatze
No, no. But I think it was, like, it was a good book, because I think that sometimes personality, when we have to deny ourselves personality can allow for disobedience. And we just straight up need to do the right thing. Because it's the right thing.
[00:19:35.70] - Mitchell Buchannan
Yeah.
[00:19:36.15] - Derek Bargatze
And so, like, you can say, like, I don't. I. Like a person who's introverted can still say, hey, I love you, and I need to think a little bit more about this, but I need you to know that that's there. Like, and they still need to say that, like, relationships has to be formed on some kind of communication. So communication has to happen. And if you're. If my. If my relationship with you is completely dependent on me having to read your mind every time or me having to ask you questions all the time, and then that's the only way. Like, you never contribute back. Right. It's never, like, an exchange on that. It's just not going to be a strong relationship. It's not. Definitely not going to be one that can last very long. So it's like. And I think sometimes we can use as an excuse, you know, to say, I think we can use personalities as an excuse to say, like, I'm not gonna give you a kind word, or I'm not gonna get to know you. And. And it's easier for extroverted people, but it's not always because, you know, extroverted people. I can. I can have a conversation, but I say I put my foot in my mouth all the time, and I also sometimes say stuff that just doesn't matter. Like you're saying, like, I can sit and we can talk for hours on Seinfeld. Not say one meaningful Seinfeld podcast, Chris. Yeah, we dominate that easily. But. But, you know, not one meaningful thing could come out, you know? So it's like, you know, pick your poison, kind of. You know what I mean? Have a whole conversation to be about nothing or just not say anything. And we're supposed to be obedient. We're supposed to be someone who either way says, like, hey, I need you to know that, you know, I feel this way about you.
[00:21:10.27] - Mitchell Buchannan
Yeah.
[00:21:10.58] - Derek Bargatze
You know, I think these things about you, and that's a. That's that that relieves so much anxiety. I think. I think a lot of our problems that we experience on a day to day basis are interpersonal. I think they're relational, and that could help get anxiety. I think this verse hints at that, for sure.
[00:21:26.76] - Grant Dailey
I have some questions because I think the simplicity of the communication, or even the ambiguity of it, I don't know, for me, brings up, like, so many thoughts and questions.
[00:21:35.49] - Derek Bargatze
I'm sure it's one thing I love about you.
[00:21:37.76] - Grant Dailey
You know, poetry, especially the proverbs, the way they're phrased, they are terse and they're simple, but it's. It seems complex. So, you know, whenever you. Anxiety weighs down the human heart, but a kind word cheers it up. Like anxiety. Amy said there's, like, infinite sources for anxiety, whether internal, you know, like how I perceive everybody around me, or. External.
[00:21:59.31] - Derek Bargatze
Yeah.
[00:21:59.65] - Grant Dailey
What's happening in my life. But then it seems like the. The kind word. It's pretty ambiguous. Like, it. It doesn't indicate that it has to attend to whatever's causing anxiety. Cause that's the thing I was thinking, is, like, sometimes I think it's an interesting, you know, the contrasting the antithetic cup, antithetical cup with their. The butt. It contrasts it. I would. I would imagine that the remedy to anxiety would be dealing with whatever's causing it. You know, like, whether. If it's external, like, if I. If I have anxiety because of finances, then I need to either budget or get my life in order and make more money. Or if I'm anxious because I'm insecure and I think that everything I say and do is bad, then I need to get therapy or, you know, whatever I need to do. But it's like, it seems the remedy is a kind word, which, you know, I don't know if it has to attend to whatever my anxiety is. I think sometimes we get so hung up on all the stuff that makes us anxious and we give all our energy to that. But the energy in this text, the action there, is the kind word is the thing that's going to alleviate the weight that you.
[00:23:09.50] - Derek Bargatze
The anxiety
[00:23:10.63] - Grant Dailey
Yeah. So I do think. I think you're right and that it is good to speak towards, like, especially, like, very real things like that
[00:23:18.46] - Derek Bargatze
in the relationship I was speaking of my wife. I know her so well.
[00:23:20.49] - Grant Dailey
Yeah.
[00:23:20.63] - Derek Bargatze
Yeah.
[00:23:20.95] - Grant Dailey
That's different. But sometimes I wonder if we have to spend the energy attending to, sorting out our anxieties when really there is some action here that could be beneficial. That was one thing I thought I.
[00:23:32.18] - Derek Bargatze
So you're saying that. You're saying that it doesn't have to be so specific for. To help the anxiety to go away. You're saying it can be just.
[00:23:40.77] - Grant Dailey
Yeah.
[00:23:41.04] - Derek Bargatze
You know, like, just. Just kind words to the person that in itself, that act in itself is healing.
[00:23:47.03] - Grant Dailey
Yeah. If you take a hypothetical, right. You're talking about walking into church, a church podcast. So you're like. You're in church and you just feel all the weight of it. Right. And it could be any number of things. It's rarely just one thing, but everything's compounding, and you're like. You feel weighed down. Like, it seems like a very apt way for the author to put it.
[00:24:06.25] - Derek Bargatze
Right.
[00:24:06.83] - Grant Dailey
And you need something to alleviate that. And the kind word, then, which I guess we'd have to define kindness in that way. But it's like, the kind word. Does it have to, do I have to, like, sit and attend all. Because sometimes our anxieties. Sometimes our anxieties are very real, and sometimes they're totally made up.
[00:24:26.75] - Derek Bargatze
Right.
[00:24:27.10] - Grant Dailey
And they're just things that we've contrived because we want to feel down or we don't know any other way.
[00:24:32.50] - Derek Bargatze
Right, right.
[00:24:33.08] - Grant Dailey
You know, like, sometimes there are things that are worth the effort.
[00:24:36.07] - Derek Bargatze
Right.
[00:24:36.41] - Grant Dailey
And then sometimes there may be things where it's like, I don't.
[00:24:38.84] - Derek Bargatze
Yeah, I don't.
[00:24:39.76] - Grant Dailey
We don't need to attend to that mess.
[00:24:41.59] - Derek Bargatze
Yeah, I think it's a really good count. Like a counter or not a counter, but, like, to balance it out, to say, like, I'm not saying this verse is telling us you have to go to a deep counseling session every time.
[00:24:51.68] - Grant Dailey
Yeah, it does. It have to validate every source of anxiety.
[00:24:56.45] - Derek Bargatze
Right.
[00:24:56.84] - Grant Dailey
Is that kindness?
[00:24:57.83] - Derek Bargatze
Yeah.
[00:24:58.21] - Grant Dailey
Do I have to sit there and be like, you're right, you do feel anxiety.
[00:25:00.28] - Derek Bargatze
but you can look sincere. You know, you can communicate those kind of kind things in a sincere way. That it does. Could relieve a person of that pressure that they're perhaps feeling. You may not know what it is, but to look someone in the eyes and tell them, hey, I'm so. I'm genuinely glad you're here. Like, it's really nice to see you, man. And I'm happy to worship with you. Like, those kind of things are. It's nice to hear that in a very genuine way and not be walked past in that sense. You know what I mean?
[00:25:28.08] - Mitchell Buchannan
Yeah. And I think, yeah. It's that moment where if we are, like, lasered in on this anxiety, like, I don't. I don't make enough money, and it's like everything becomes monetarily based, that it's like, really, our focus isn't on God's word or God's spirit. It's on just that particular moment.
[00:25:46.73] - Derek Bargatze
Yeah.
[00:25:47.13] - Mitchell Buchannan
We're like, someone even, like, speaking a kind word could be like, hey, like, you know, are you content? You know, or just. It may be my issue is I'm not finding contentment with where I'm at, but it's like a desire to, you know, be, you know, to want more, have something else. I think that's great, because I think we can so easily come to a place where our perspective is capital t, the capital, you know? Yeah, capital t, the perspective. That's what I was probably trying to say. I'm not having a seizure. If you're just listening on audio, I'm personally definitely not.
[00:26:19.52] - Grant Dailey
you're saying the definite audio.
[00:26:20.55] - Mitchell Buchannan
Yeah. Where it becomes my perspective. I know precisely what my anxiety is, and now that is becomes a focus. Maybe we're just focused on the wrong thing. You know? It's like, I think Derek said a few times just how much it encouraged him that God's words, a light to our path. You know, it's like if we're just lasered in, I'm like, hey, my perspective is right on what needs to be fixed in my life, but it's like, you know, let that light illuminate, like, where we're going and how we're living. It's like, maybe this is not even like something that should be granted that power, you know, or granted that. That authority that it dictates in your life.
[00:26:55.85] - Derek Bargatze
It's quite powerful to say, here's what I think. But I'm going to do what God's word says. Even the voice to say Jesus is Lord. And what you mean by that is I think. I think this is what I think should be happening. But I make plans and God directs my step. But to actually think that, to actually have, like, a. Your own movement and then go like, but I'm going to do this one instead because this one lines up with God's word, how I understand it. I'm doing my best. This is what I think. This lines up for that. And then to see God work and see God do something and see that happening with another friend and things like that, taking those steps, that's why it's just like, you know, we walk by faith, not by sight. You know, it's a very powerful statement. I think that I'm understanding it more as I've gotten older.
[00:27:39.64] - Mitchell Buchannan
Right? Yeah, I think. And that in that sentiment of, you know, being present and walking by sight, like, there's action and walking in God's word every day, like, I think just from a church context, the whole, I think, series on kindness, everyone's highlighted. Like, it can seem so trivial to be kind by the world, and it's like, I think, you know, church today, everyone gets let off so easy because I think everyone walks in that door, a generally good person looking to, like, love the Lord and others. And it's like, the most minimal bar of, like, hey, I'm like, I have a cheery, you know, like, Persona, and, like, I, like, encourage people. Hey, like, you did a great job on your sermon today. And it's like, there's so little expected from everyone in regards to kindness. I think this, our conversation, even other, like, sermons have brought out. Like, there should be an intentionality and a depth to kindness that goes far beyond. I'm gonna hold your door and say thank you. And it's like, I think, almost like, charging those people, like, what you're saying, like, hey, or if they don't have words, or, like, my personality is that I'm just quiet but, like, generally nice. And it's like, the Lord to truly be kind. Like, expects, like, an intentionality and, like, an investment into other people that goes beyond, I think, the very, very surface level kindness that is so easily colors how we view people. You know, oh, they're so nice. And it's like, do they encourage anyone? Like, do. Are they participating in trying to love other people and, like, build this body of Christ? Or are they just there being a kind person? But, like, you know, having no effect, no investment, no, like, moment of true vulnerability with someone else.
[00:29:23.91] - Grant Dailey
Our threshold for kindness is, like. So low. The example that keeps coming to my mind, I was sitting at a red light and I noticed this jeep pulled by, and it had all these rubber ducks on the dashboard. And I was like, what is this? Because I've seen. I don't know about you, I've seen several jeeps just littered with rubber ducks. So I started searching on Google. I was just like, jeep, rubber ducks. And the first thing was an article. Oh, and it is actually a thing. It is a thing where it's like, jeep owners, I guess they have, like, waves and, like, handshakes and stuff. But it's a practice for jeep owners, not for anybody else. But I was reading the article, and it was like, the way it phrased it is, it started out as an act of random kindness, okay? And the act of random kindness was putting a bunch of cute little rubber ducks on a jeep, on the hood of a jeep. So now it's this act of kindness. You demonstrate towards fellow jeep owners to duck their jeep by just decking it out with rubber ducks. And I kept thinking about, like, this.
[00:30:18.06] - Derek Bargatze
Is not by jeep.
[00:30:19.48] - Grant Dailey
This is the lowest bar for kindness. It's like, if we consider putting, like. That's annoying to me, first off, but it's like, if you're gonna litter, like, literally, toys on somebody's vehicle, and that's perceived as kindness, then we have, like, we've missed something. The bar is so low.
[00:30:41.83] - Derek Bargatze
Yeah. When you say so low, that's thats low.
[00:30:43.58] - Grant Dailey
for me to be a kind person, it's like, dude, if I'm seriously struggling with anxiety and you cover my vehicle and toys. Yeah, that does nothing for me, but I guess it does culturally. It's like a sign to say, like, hey, people care about.
[00:30:57.50] - Mitchell Buchannan
Yeah, yeah.
[00:30:58.07] - Derek Bargatze
I'll never see you. I don't know who you are, I don't know your name, but you put this duck on my truck.
[00:31:02.13] - Grant Dailey
The bar is so low, but it is challenging, actually. I think all the. All the. All the preachers in the series have tried to take the time to examine, like, what is actually happening, kind of. We've all had to acknowledge, yeah. It's not what we talk about culturally, because it's kind of weight.
[00:31:17.50] - Derek Bargatze
What have we been doing this whole time?
[00:31:18.97] - Grant Dailey
Yeah.
[00:31:19.54] - Derek Bargatze
Yeah.
[00:31:20.08] - Grant Dailey
I do have another question reading this, because. And you were talking about this in terms of when you're talking about walking by faith and not by sight. So I think when I read the proverb again, the phrasing of. It's interesting, because I do think in the way we've been talking about, is that when a person is experiencing anxiety, they feel anxious for whatever reason. Then the remedy to that is somebody extending kindness to them through a communication. But the ambiguity in it. Like, could the remedy to my anxiety be that I could be kind to someone else?
[00:31:54.53] - Derek Bargatze
Mmm. Yeah.
[00:31:56.03] - Grant Dailey
Yeah. So it's like. It's like even anxiety weighs down my heart. If I were to use, like, anxiety weighs down my heart, but a good word from me to someone else. Yeah.
[00:32:07.75] - Derek Bargatze
Liek cheers My anxiety.
[00:32:08.69] - Grant Dailey
Yeah. Because, again, you know, the move. The move in our culture is to so validate all of our problems all the time as if they're the most important thing of the world. And talk about in terms of, like, my truth or my experience, what I feel. And sometimes I think the Bible doesn't care about that. It's like, this is what you're supposed to do, because that's what you're talking about, is, like, is being obedient is greater. It outweighs how you feel in a moment or what's happening or even in that conflict. The result was, we have to be obedient, do this. So then it was interesting to me to think, like, is the resolve for me, in the midst of being anxious, to stop thinking about myself, look at another person and be like, how can I speak to them in a kind and uplifting way? Yeah. The proverbs are great because it gives in such a short, little, simple statement. There's so much to chew on.
[00:33:01.48] - Derek Bargatze
You have to participate in the same kind of healing you need.
[00:33:04.61] - Grant Dailey
And I don't think it has to be either or. I don't think either reading takes priority over there, but it seems to be two sides of the same coin.
[00:33:11.73] - Derek Bargatze
Right. I agree. I. And I think that's one of the things I thought. I think I brought it up beginning of my sermon. I was raised Baptist. And you just kind of assume that because you're within that denomination, you're good for the rest of your life, and you really don't have to do or act in any kind of way. There's no, like, I don't necessarily have a responsibility to you or to you. But yes, Jesus is lord. And so, like. And I think that sometimes we fall as much as we can, like, poke fun at other stuff, we. We are also susceptible to that kind of thinking, to where it's like, I'm a part of a ministry. I'm in community, I'm doing these kind of things. My job is almost ministerial, or is straight up ministerial, or I volunteer da da da. And so then that, you know, like, so all my. All my godly kindness stuff goes there, right? So when it comes to how I treat the people nearest to me or how I treat other people, they don't really get the best version of me, you know, because it went somewhere else where, you know, I think. I think that's something people need to evaluate. I think that people need to think if they want to say something kind, but they don't want to bring that person to tears. Or I could send them this song, and it would mean something so much to them. I know it, but I'm not going to. It's gonna make them cry or it's gonna make them upset, but it's like. But they'll feel loved. They'll feel thought about, like, why not? Why not embrace that. That moment? It's only gonna be something you regret you didn't do later. You know what I mean? Like, it's only going to be something you. You hated you didn't do. So. So give it a shot. Like, try it out. Like, send something to them, you know, like. Like, try it out, like, take that step and, like, try to move there. I think sometimes we get our cause ourselves to stop doing a lot of those things, and then, because I like what you said, like, maybe that is what it's saying. Our anxiety is a result of our straight up not participating in those. Those acts, not doing it ourselves.
[00:35:09.34] - Mitchell Buchannan
Yeah. I think both receiving a good word, giving a good word requires that. That mental process to, like, you know, consider outside of your current perspective. I think it's to, I think, connect with God's, you know, spirit. And I think God's word on, like, you know, you know, valuing someone else above your own and then being able to, you know, engage with. With that person. Because, you know, when we're just trapped to our own devices, I think we will steer towards, you know, anxiety. We will steer towards selfishness of what is my problem. And it's like, I think just believing God's word, hey, this is what God's word says, is to, like, have a kind word, give it, receive it. But it's like, there's. There's a very clear mandate on all of us that it's like, when we're experiencing anxiety, like, there's a way to, like, transition out of that, and it's, like, foremost trusting God's word that it's like, it won't return. Void that this is going to be an action that's going to see life like, you know, overflow from that.
[00:36:11.65] - Derek Bargatze
So, yeah, the simplest. I mean, God knows better. He knows better than you. He knows better than you. Know what I mean? Like, just say that. Wake up and say that God knows better.
[00:36:20.98] - Mitchell Buchannan
You and Celeste get in a fight. Is that your first line, like, God knows better?
[00:36:24.34] - Derek Bargatze
Yeah. It's never worked, but, yeah, that's what I say.
[00:36:30.32] - Mitchell Buchannan
That'd be perfect. uh Cool.
[00:36:33.32] - Derek Bargatze
That was fantastic.
[00:36:34.32] - Mitchell Buchannan
Unless we have something else. Thank you for listening to the Sermon podcast again. This is the church community for God. Wherever you're listening, watching, feel free to leave a comment. We would love more of those. Leave a five star review. And until next week at church, let this play in your minds. Let this be part of your conversations. Accountability groups. We want to make sure, no matter what, that God's word extends beyond just the sanctuary walls, comes into our everyday lives, into our hearts and minds, where we can actually live it out.
[00:37:03.17] - Derek Bargatze
Well said.
[00:37:04.40] - Mitchell Buchannan
So, thanks. Great episode.
[00:37:05.96] - Derek Bargatze
Talk to you guys. Thanks.
Comments